"I expect nothing. What do you expect?" Great Expectations

That's Great, We expected more. We expect more. A more lucid question. A less zen-like question. If you don't expect anything, why the question? You're great. You're asking me questions for nothing? Great move. That's interesting. That's you. Greatness aside, aren't you supposed to be the one asking the questions. Umm, that's right. You are asking me the question. But it does seem a tad different from the kind of questions we're used to being asked. Hmm, what did we expect? Well, from someone who expects nothing...umm, this does seem complicated. Let's try and simplify it. You want to know what we expect? How will that help you? You think how we feel might help you? That's interesting. Is is because you feel nothing? You want help, right? Maybe not. You don't say much, do you? Do you expect us to answer that question? Are you in some kind of trouble? You seem remarkably at peace from the kind of question you have posed us. You seem rather Buddhist in your line of questioning. You don't seem to have any issues. You definitely need help. How can you not have any issues? How can you be so much at peace with yourself? And if so, why the question? We expect an answer. Actually, no. We expect questions. And you have posed us a question. Hmm. We are flummoxed. We're confused. We've never come across anyone who expects nothing and poses us a question. We need to get back to you after we get back to the drawing board. This is interesting. We'll be back with your question, answer, both. Sigh. Do you expect that? Never mind. Nothing. Still no sign of that bolt from the blue. Well, we expected a bolt from the blue with an answer to your wise, wise question. It didn't happen. We, too, should stop expecting anything. When we expect something, we're also factoring in the expectation of disappointment. We see why you expect nothing. The question then is, what if you expect nothing and get more than you bargained for? Aren't you ever disappointed when you don't get anything? How do you deal with that? Are we getting a hang of your question? It does seem to us like we are. We've got it! We think we know what you're problem is. You have trouble with expecting nothing in a world that expects everything. You feel at odds with this world. And you definitely are. You don't like the fact that the world seems so small and so petty and so superficial. You wish you weren't so righteous about it. You wish you didn't choose the path you are on. You are conflicted. Aren't you? Yes you are. You just don't know it. You don't think you are, but you are. You wonder why you can't expect more? See, we're good. We catch all problems, no matter how deep they lie. It's why we're also called Dr. Whyche. We know the whys and the hows and the whynots and the whybes of all psyches. Why not? It's what we do. Why? We have no idea. We just do it. It's what we expect from us. Unlike you, we do not expect nothing. We cannot. We wish we could. All we end up with, though, are unexpected questions. So let's get back to your nothing question. Your problem is you aren't willing to face up to the fact that you are the problem. You really are. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for making people feel so terrible about themselves. You ought to stop this pontifical attitude of most resistance you have chosen to live by. The path to true happiness is pointless. You need to be pointed in the right direction. The right direction is a life that is truly pointless. A life that is unhappily full of tripe is the life we must all fully and foolishly live. Only when you're unhappy can you be fuelled by your desires. Only when you have desires can you achieve more. Only when you achieve more, can you feel big among your peers. Only when you feel big among your peers can you feel the true emptiness of all of life's backward bending bendevours. Only when you feel empty can you feel nothing. When you feel nothing, you've managed it. Achieving and feeling nothing in life is perfectly fine. Expecting nothing from life is not. We have nothing to add. We trust that's what you expected. Thanks for nothing. Yours, Agony Funcle (MT).