Thursday, September 14, 2006
"I'm a pot smoker. I hate you." Trepeat Offender
Dear Trepeat, No, it's not you who should be hating us. We hate you. Now you've really gone and done it. You made us hate the one set of people in this world we did not hate: Pot smokers. First, you start by hating people who don't smoke pot. Then, you hate people who drink. Then, you hate people who smoke, but not pot. And finally, you hate your own kind. Where is all this hate going to take you? Deeper and deeper into your own world, we guess. Which isn't such a bad thing. It's where you're likely to find the solution to most of your problems. and not, from other people. The more you look around, the more people you are likely to find worth hating. In fact, we can see why you hate us. You've spent way too much time coming to us. Familiarity breeds contempt. And the more time you have spent with us, the less we're liking you. And the less we're liking you, the more you're likely to hate us. It's a good thing you hate us. We were becoming a bit of a crutch for you. You were coming to us with every little problem. That is not a good thing. When you have someone to go to with all your problems, everything becomes a problem. Including that which is not a problem. Only because somebody is there as long as there is a problem. Now that you have effectively eliminated us as the go-to person for all your problems, you will think twice about problems and try not to see them as problems. Our technique of problem solving has worked for you. By making you hate us, we have helped you solve your problem by not having anyone to go to with your problems. When you have no one to go to for your problems, you will start ignoring your problems. The problems may not go away, but at least you won't see them. You should love us. On second thoughts, don't. Hate us. That is the solution to all your myriad problems. Your finished Funcle.