Monday, September 25, 2006

"Why doesn't the mirror ever lie? Everyone else does." Reflect Shun

Dear Shun, Would you believe us if we told you that we're often faced with the same question? It's why we don't look at the man in the mirror anymore. We shun all mirrors. We prefer not to reflect. But now that you have asked us this deep, deep question, we're forced to, once again, reflect. On reflection, this is what we see for you. The thing about a mirror is it has no heart. In our experience having a heart is not a good thing. A heart makes you feel and when you feel, you are forced to do things that make you feel better. Hmm. On further reflection, we're, once again, forced to fall back on the leanings and the learnings of a great mind to solve matters of the heart, heartlessly. The mind we're going to introduce you to is that of a great Norwegian Dillosopher with no heart. Since he's not very well known, you may call him Bergman. No, he's not Bergman, but Bergman is, probably, the only Scandinavian fellow you know of. No, Bergman is not Norwegian, but who cares? They all seem the same to people who don't look at anything other than mirrors and Bollywood. Anyway, so this man who is not Bergman is someone we have broken bread and made cold blue cheeze with. We tend to break bread and make cheeze with unknown people. It's why most of our thoughts remain unknown, unrecognised and cheezy. So this gent whom you can call Bergman, but whose name is, actually, Sullen Sasgard, used to say, rather sullenly, and I quote, "When you look into the mirror, don't. Look beyond the mirror. Look at all the things around you the bloody mirror deflects you from looking at yourself. Don't reflect. Deflect. Look at the size of your breasts. Deflect. Look at your biceps. Deflect. Look at your chest muscles. Deflect. Look at your six-pack. Deflect. Look at your vanity. Deflect. There's nothing better to look at into the mirror than your vanity. Deflect. Vanity always lies. Deflect. That is the essence of deflectionary reflection. Ja. And when you look at the pure vanity your mirror reflects, it will never speak the truth. Ja. Deflect." Hmm. We wonder what he meant by that. But hey, that's the magic of Norwegian dillosophy. It rarely appeals to you at an obvious level. In fact, it rarely appeals to you at all. It's why you can safely assume it's all Bergman. So deflect that and turn to these things that will appeal to you. Get yourself a bunch of magic mirrors. These are mirrors that always lie. They are also known as friends. Magical friends who will always reflect things you want to hear. Things you want to see. Things you don't have to reflect on. Leave all this philosophy and dillosophy for the Bergman's and the Sullens of the world. Leave all this reflection tifflection. Why fight with reality when you can revel in superficiality? By all means surround yourself with mirrors. Just don't pose any questions. Just pose. Life is meant for posers. Reflect on that. And then, deflect. Ja. Your shuniyan Agony.