"I am circumsised. Am I in trouble?" Cutpiece Charlie

Dear Cutpiece, Depends on what you're up to. If it's sex, sleep the fuck around. Go forth and conquer. Research has proved that circumsised males are better protected from contracting the HIV virus. Think about that while we go and get a quick job done. We'll be right back in one piece less. Hang in there. Still there. How's it hanging man? So, you were asking whether a circumsised wee-wee is a safe thing to have? Well, if the Kennedy of our generation says so, it must be safe. Bill Clinton says a circumsised penis is a safe thing to have as a counter to AIDS. He should know, no? Just make sure your partner doesn't know, not that you have a circumsised penis, that's something she/he will most certainly discover, but the fact that you're sleeping around. Though, he/she would probably understand. You see, unoffical research has proved that a circumsised penis provides and receives more pleasure than a non-circumsised one. There are, unfortunately, some places on this planet where you could get into trouble for having a circumsised wee-wee. There's a country in South Asia peopled by animals who try to pass off as men where under conditions of extreme pressure and hatred, they will make you take down your pants to determine whether you are from a community they're out to get. If you find yourself in this country during the many times that this country experiences pogroms against the minority community, try to pass yourself off as a Jew. The people conducting the pogroms aren't very civilised, but if you tell them you're a Jew and from that other country they'll probably let you off, solely because you come from a community and country that happens to terrorise and is against the same community these animals happen to be against. No logic, pure perverted hatred. Note, there's a very good reason we're trying to be very careful and very ambiguous here. We don't want to identify the country/countries. We don't want to get into any trouble. And we don't want to be subjected to any further agony. So careful where you go with that little fellow, Mr. Cutpiece. And very careful before you pull your pants down in certain countries, except if you happen to be sleeping around, In which case, you have less to worry about now. All thanks to some crazy-ass research. Yours diplomatically, Agony.