"I'm a fucking pot smoker. I want to fucking stop. What the fuck should I do?" Potty Mouth

Dear Potty, First things first, lemme light up a doobie and get back to you on that. In general, it doesn't take us more than a few hours to finish smoking a doobie. So my advice is that you go and light one up, ponder on the implications of the question you have had the fucking temerity to pose to us and come back to this fucking joint in a few hours from now. By then, I most fucking certainly will have an answer ready to fucking ply you with. Got that you fucking pot head. Yeah man. We're liking the fucking question. Stay with us. You there, Potty? We're back. How's it going, man? You still want to quit? Don't be silly, dude. Why quit. You don't want to deal with the real world, do you? You don't want a real job, do you? You don't want to take up other vices like living, smoking ciggies and consuming alcohol, do you? You just want to move on to better things like heroin, meth, crack and other higher level drugs, don't you? So just keep toking man. And let life overtake you. Once you realise there's no chance of catching up, spend the rest of your time toking and blogging. That's what you wanna do, dude. So don't you fucking come here all sober, contrite and determined to quit because you're not meant to be sober, contrite and determined to quit. You're just a fucking pot-smoking slacker. Don't waste your time aspiring to be anything like a real achiever. There you go. How's that for some sensible advice. Hope you can figure that out through you pot-induced haze. Now get the fuck out of my time. I need a smoke. Cheers, Funcle.