Tuesday, August 29, 2006

"I want to learn discipline. I...hang on, I've got a call. I'll be back. Please stay with me." Missciplined Mauji

Dear Mauji, The least you can do is complete your questions before we proceed to blahnswer it. It's very undisciplined of you to interrupt our session for a phone call. We take strong issue with this kind of behaviour. We have often to tried to explain to people who don't really come to us at all that when you come to us with your problem, you've got to leave all your other problems behind. You see, when you come to us with your problem, which rarely happens, we will, almost inevitably, proceed to create a slew of fresh problems for you. Which is why it's imperative for your mental safety that you don't complicate or communicate your problems with the problems our problems will create for you and not come to us at all. Our biggest problem, honestly, is honesty. And when we try to solve your problems with our honesty, we only end up creating more problems for you. Come to think of it, it's very sensible of you to deal with more important matters, like a phone call, while we are seriously trying to make a hash out of solving your problem. You see our problem? Good, now we have a real problem, unlike your problem. The problem with people like you is that you know your problem, but will never do enough to get rid of it. We have come across many, many people like you and nothing we say seems to help them. (Sensibly.) And yet, we shall waste your time trying to provide you with a solution for your problem. Since you haven't completed your question, as usual, we will proceed to solve your problem without knowing what your problem is. Not that it is very clear, but very clearly your problem is you are too undisciplined to think in a proper manner to arrive at what your problem is. (In that respect, you are much like us.) You think you are undisciplined, but don't have the time to be disciplined enough to identify the issue you think you have after having identified it quite well. The best way to deal with the issue you haven't told us about is to be bold enough to realize it is not an issue. When you don't think it is an issue, it is not an issue. Only people who think they have issues, have issues. The ones that don't are perfect, because they think they are issueless, no less. We think. Don't you think so? Think about that, while we think, with or without you, on your problem. Discipline is an issue only with people who know they're undisciplined. Once you have faced up to the fact that you are real and undisciplined, much like everything that's real and undisciplined, you're well on your way to solving your problem. Indiscipline is not a problem you should try very hard to solve. Because once you become disciplined, it is impossible to live life. As the great proletarian saying goes, 'When in discipline, do as the undisciplined do.' Please make a disciplined note of that saying. For, or against, you are not likely to find it anywhere else, thankfully. Back to the indiscipline of this session on discipline. Disciplined people end up suffering all kinds of unnecessary hardships under the guise of being disciplined. For instance, disciplined people will not buy into simple creature comforts and thus end up being idiotically disciplined, misfitted and discomfitted creatures of nothing. Disciplined people will try to attain Nirvana because they are incapable of attaining much else. Disciplined people will not keep in touch with other normal people because they think that is the way to foolhardily maintain the indiscipline of disciplinedly not making phone calls. Disciplined people will try to lead a life of useless principles, which will make them complete pissfits in this chaotic, randomly undisciplined dysfunctioning world. We hope you are still on that very important phone call of yours. Thank you for not letting us discipline you. Obviously, you have missed nothing. This session on discipline has been brought to you by the Histree Channel - Showing you all the short cuts to becoming a relic. And no, we will not stay with you. We are too disciplined, closed and alone to enjoy any of the things that normal, undisciplined, happy people enjoy. In fact, we're too disciplined to enjoy anything. Elliptically speaking, Agony.