"I want to raise interest rates. What should I do?" Bull Bernanke

Dear Bull, Hang in there. I need to go consult the newspapers before dishing out any advice to you. Aren't they the people you generally look for for guidance? So what made you come to us? Still, glad you decided to drop by. Don't go anywhere. We'll be back with next month's newspapers. You there, Bull? Good. Here's what we have for you. The low down is we think it's best to keep people guessing. Next month's newspapers point out what you're going to do, but don't reveal your hand just yet. Let the common investor go through the pain and heartburn of a fluctuating market. Let the insiders know exactly what you have in mind. Let the insiders make all the moolah. Along the way, make a bit of moolah yourself too. And then, once you've benefited from all the uncertainity drop the bomb. Listen to everything people say to you. Make sure you don't have a mind of your own. Worry about how the people of USA will see you. After all, it matters not a whit what the economy really needs. What's important is how the media portrays you. Will they think you're a dove? Will they think you're a hawk? Will they ask you to show your balls? Or will they wonder how you sleep at night? These are the weighty issues that should really be on your mind. Not the fact that what you do now will have long term implications. No, no, that is none of your concern. You just want to make sure the news of the day makes you look good. Are we on the same page Bull? Awesome. Now go get yourself a good night's sleep, while the rest of us have sleepless nights wondering what's on your mind. Hope that helped, beause whatever it is that you're setting out to do is most certainly not. Antsily yours, Agony.