Wednesday, August 09, 2006

"I'm honest. Help me." Miss Honest

Dear Miss Honest, Allow me to correct you. You're not honest. You're stupid. Only stupid people are honest. You ask for my help, but what you're asking for is redemption. And if redemption is not what you're seeking, I urge you to consider it. Redemption and release is the only recourse for people like you. If I sound harsh, don't feel bad. I'm only being honest. People like you have no place in this world. People like you make people unlike you feel bad about themselves. And when people unlike you feel bad about themselves, they take it out on people like you by ensuring that people like you never make it in life. Because if people like you make it in life, they make it very difficult for people unlike you. Don't mistake my harsh tone, it is my job to help you and the only way I can help you is by trying to hammer into that thick skull of yours the extreme error of your ways. Please don't make it any harder on the rest of us. You don't want to be end up being felt sorry for. It's a good thing that you've written to me. At least, it shows that you recognise your problem. I'll say this is an encouraging beginning. The next thing you should do is change. Or perish. That's all I can say. Honestly Funcle.