Wednesday, August 23, 2006

"I'm a career woman. Should I get married?" Miss Fortune

Dear Fortune, Even if you don't want to get married, there will tons of losers who will gladly want to marry you. Of course, the issue is would you want to marry a loser? And if you are considering that question, another question crops up and begs for secondary consideration two, which is what is a loser? Is a loser someone who doesn't have a career? Or is a loser a loser who will lose every ounce of self-respect and conscience for a career? If you can solve this most complex of human conditions, you might find an answer to the original question we posed you in response to your original question. You catch what we're saying? If not, you may want to consider posing this question to a gentleman of questionable intelligence like Michael Noer. Chances are, you will not find an answer of a satsifactory nature from the gent who likens all wives to whores and seems utterly convinced with his unfortunate delusion that all career women are likely to cheat. Obviously, this world is full of very insecure men like him who will lap up such drivel. So we urge you to please, immediately, disregard that option and stay with us. No, no, we're not suggesting that you consider our proposal to get married to us. No, no, we did not make any such proposal. No, no, we wouldn't dream of offering ourselves as a sacrifice on the altar of your career aspirations. We wouldn't let you go forth and conquer lands that we failed miserably at conquering. Besides, we have no interest in doing all the cathartic cleaning and lovely cooking at home while you go and bust your ass with all the arseholes that you will definitely have to deal with while trying to make a career out of your life. Why should we choose the easier option of staying at home and doing far more interesting things with our life while women like you are endangering their lives in the hostile environs of the alpha-male infested corporate jungle? Umm, we apologise for getting a bit carried away. We forgot this was not about us. We always forget that nothing is about us. If only we remembered, more often, that we are nothing and so nothing can be about us. Back to you. So you were saying...ah yes, you were wondering whether you should get married? A very good question, indeed. We, too, were wondering whether we should get married? Unfortunately, every time we wonder on the situation, we are faced with women who seem to want to be like us and would like us to be unlike us. You see, we're not a career woman. In fact, we're not a career man, either. So much so, that we, sometimes, wonder whether we're a man at all. We're not a career man. Should we get married? Your questionable Agony.